So life went on for a while, and my days were consumed with all the usual things that make up your day when you have a young baby. For the most part, Joshua didn't give me any reason to think about the prognosis that is looming over us. He is doing everything he should be. The fertility website I signed up to when trying to become pregnant is not just about charting your cycles. It also has message boards, and I was part of a great group of women who were all expecting babies in May 2010. And now we are the "May 2010 Mamas." We used to talk about our pregnancies, and now we talk about our babies. This group keeps me grounded sometimes, because it gives me insight into exactly what other babies Joshua's age are doing. Some of them are doing things he isn't. And he is doings things some of the others aren't. They are all growing and developing at their own rate, and that is perfectly normal. Except Joshua isn't "normal" is he?
I got over the whole seizure thing, and decided that I didn't think Joshua was having infantile spasms after all. (Though it does loom in the back of my mind that things like that could still come up in the future). I was still measuring his head on a regular basis and feeling a little frustrated with it, as it clearly wasn't growing very much.
When he was 12 weeks old, we went back to the outpatient clinic at the hospital. This time we were seeing the doctor that he was assigned to after he was born. He is a consultant, which means he is supposed to be a bit of a smarty pants. Now, Joshua's head circumference was on the 5th percentile. He told us that maybe Joshua was just supposed to have a small head and that it was finding the percentile that it is going to stay at, and if it continues to grow and track along that percentile then all is well, he just has a smaller than average head. However, if it continues to slide down the percentiles then "further investigation" would be needed. So again, it was still a wait and see on the head.
During the examination, the doctor felt that Joshua was a bit tight and that he had a poor grasp. I had noticed a bit of stiffness myself, but he wasn't like that all the time, so I assumed that he was doing it on purpose. That he was actively resisting me when I was doing things with him. The doctor was concerned that he had high muscle tone. He put through a referral to the Hospital's paediatric physiotherapists for an assessment. Fantastic, now I have another thing to add to my list of worries!